A New Normal

September 27, 2013 · 8 comments

in Seasons in Life

006It’s a damp dark, blustery, fall day here in the Pacific Northwest. I had an early morning appointment at the dentist then a consultation with a tax professional. There are many details to consider as we prepare for retirement and returning to Canada.

Maya is curled up in her little bed beside my desk. She, and we, are still adjusting to life without Chelsea.

The void left by the loss of that little three pound dog is vast. I think of her first thing every morning as I’m brushing my teeth. I miss her pushing open the bathroom door and running through to the walk-in closet to bark at Gerry to hurry up as he gets dressed and ready to take the girls outside.

I miss her every evening as I scoop out half of the container of homemade dog food into a single dish for Maya’s supper. I made a fresh batch of dog food this week–the first batch since she’s been gone. I imagined her sitting by the counter impatiently waiting for her dish to be filled like she usually did.

Maya’s been getting extra attention these past couple of weeks–she’s even gone to work with Gerry a few times. She’s never been alone before now and being at home alone during the day is something new for her. We see subtle changes in her behaviour since Chelsea’s been gone–there’s no doubt she feels the loss too.

Incredibly, I’ve seen her do some things that only Chelsea used to do, it’s almost like Chelsea is still here somehow. She’s not, I know, but when Maya does a little spin around when I’m getting ready to take her outside it’s almost like she is.

It’s a comfort but it breaks my heart at the same time.

We’re in a time of transition just now. Our house is on the market which means it’s got to be kept pristine at all times. The other night Gerry asked me how I like living in our sterile house. It’s not, sterile that is, but it’s certainly neat and tidy.

I came upon a quote from C.S. Lewis this week and it resonated with me: “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”

It’s been a difficult couple of weeks and I’m thankful for the faith I have that there are, most certainly, better things to come.

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