Friday, May 18, 2018 – Five Minute Friday – Secret

Believe me, every man has his secret sorrows, which the world knows not; and oftimes we call a man cold when he is only sad.

 Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Again, I’m joining in with a group of writers for Five Minute Friday where we’re given a prompt (this week it’s secret) and write for five minutes about it. This is a bit of a tough one for me. Also, I did a light edit at the end of five minutes. It’s against the rules but I can’t not edit. Trust me. You wouldn’t want me to not edit.

I receive an email that begins: Hello from your family in Saskatchewan.

I was born a secret, no one in my family of origin knew about me, save for the woman who gave birth to me, for many years.  It’s been a long, and often painful, journey.

It’s not easy being a secret. All kinds of things get discombobulated in your mind with respect to self-worth and your place in the world. I’ve worked hard for many years to sort it all out but I still have seasons of grief—I’m walking through one now.

Even when I first connected with my maternal family I remained a secret to some. I silently accepted being told that they  “wouldn’t be able to handle knowing about me”.

Now, the secret is out in the open and I have cousins, who knew nothing about the tangled story until a few years ago, but who have welcomed me.

For years, when I’ve talked about my heart connection to Saskatchewan people have asked if I have family there. I’ve been reminded of all the loss as I responded that, no, I have no family there anymore. (I wrote about all of that mess in Two Hearts: An Adoptee’s Journey Through Grief to Gratitude.)

These four words—your family in Saskatchewan—changes that.

I am blessed and grateful, a secret no more, and I have family in Saskatchewan.

Word wrangler. Photo taker. I'm here early every morning with one of my photos and a few simple words. | Nulla dies sine linea: not a day without a line. | Coram Deo: in God's presence
7 comments
  1. Such a beautiful secret and such a blessing to read. 🙂

    1. Thank you, Rebekah.

  2. My heart is feeling your grief, Linda. A season I’m well familiar with. Even in grief there is grace. Thanks for sharing your secret. xx PS Nice update on the blog’s appearance.

  3. That makes my heart happy, Linda. <3

  4. You are part of MY family, Linda! We’re both children of God :). We have family everywhere.

  5. What an amazing story! I am sure that was very hard… Isolating. I am so glad to see there is beauty in your journey now!

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