I attended a workshop in Richmond, BC recently, put on the by the Forget Me Not Family Society called Good Grief. I suppose I should have realized there would be members of the adoption constellation in attendance other than adoptees but I was surprised that first night when I learned there were birth mothers, and even one adoptive mom, there.
At first I was annoyed that the birth mothers were there. Despite all I’ve done to work through my feelings about being adopted I haven’t completely let go of the anger; it still surfaces on occasion, though much less frequently than it once did. I was not interested in hearing about their birth mother grief. They chose their path.
But as I listened to these women speak, and witnessed their sincere anguish, I had no choice but to hop down off of my self-righteous high horse and consider another point of view. They were not uncaring monsters who abandoned their babies. They were women faced with difficult choices at a time when society had no tolerance for their situation who did the best they could do.
November is Adoption Awareness Month. Chances are you know someone who has been touched by adoption. Surveys done by the Even B. Donaldson Adoption Institute indicate that about 60% of Americans have personal experience with adoption in that they, or a family member or close friend, was adopted, had adopted a child, or placed a child for adoption. Experts believe there are between 6 and 8 million adoptees in America.
Do you want to learn more?
- Jennifer Lauck is presenting a series of free live teleseminars this month about adoption and healing.
- Judy M. Miller has a new e-guide called What to Expect From You Adopted Tween.
- Tapestry Books has an excellent selection of adoption-related books.
Come back often throughout the month. I’ll be sharing more adoption-related information each week.
Linda, adoption is a sensitive matter for both the adoptee, the adopting parent(s), and the birth mother whatever her choice is. I know — my stepdaughter was adopted by my husband and his ex-wife when Suzanne was only a few days old. She is now 35 and eventually found her birth mother. I’ll be interested to see what other writings you present this month on the subject. Prayers for you in all you do to bring relevan topics through your blog.
Dear Linda, I look forward to journeying with you in November and learning more about adoption. The truth is that I know no one who is adopted or who has adopted a child. So all this is new learning for me.
I appreciate especially today your candor in telling us of the residual anger you have felt and how the meeting you attended got you in touch with that anger. Also I admire your openness in listening to the the words and recognizing the anguish of the women who talked about letting go of their babies.
It seems to me that we journey all our lives into the deep center of ourselves to find our wholeness.
Peace.
I’m so glad to know that November is Adoption Awareness Month. I’m clearly not adopted. I look exactly like my father did, but as you say I know people who were adopted as well as those who did some adopting.
It’s also National Caregivers Month. I like that too. In so many ways the two go hand in hand. Thanks for sharing this.
Lynn
http://www.writeradvice.com
Author of You Want Me to Do WHAT? Journaling for Caregivers
The two do go hand in hand, in a sense, don’t they, Lynn. Thank you for stopping by.
Dear Linda,
Sharing your change of heart is so powerful. There are always two sides to every story and your sharing really brings adoption into a human light. Thank you.