I’ve noticed a trend recently. When I tell someone that I am writing a book about my adoption experience, almost without failure I hear how adoption has touched the lives of others. Some are adoptees; some gave children up for adoption; some are adoptive parents; some are birth-parents. They all have stories to tell. This came to light for me again at the conference where, of course, the subject of my work-in-progress came up more than once.
A few months ago I searched around on the internet trying to find a group of adoptees who shared my own perspective on adoption. I discovered that there is an angry community of adoptees out there, and that much of the anger stems from coming out of the closed adoption system.
I am considering starting a second blog with an adoption theme – a positive adoption theme – but before I go too far down that road I would like to hear back from you all. You’ll notice a poll on the right side of this page that I hope you will take a moment to answer. If you care to leave a comment on this post, anonymous if you wish, I would love to hear more.
that would be good for you to start a positive blog….a place for people to share their feelings…I know a few adopted people…they love their adopted families..but I think their is always that ? in the back of their mind about their birth families…
That is an interesting idea. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who would love a positive blog on adoption.
I was raised by my birth mother and step father. He adopted me when they married. Although they raised me "properly," he never understood me and that caused self esteem problems for me most of my life. I've never even seen a photo of my biological father (my mom destroyed everything)and sometimes I wonder who he is.
I'm sure you'd get a lot of interesting and some heart wrenching comments in response to your blog.
I'm so glad you are going for it (as we talked about at the conference). People need to hear the positive – and the concerns, but framed in a postive way. You have an unique perspective and a wonderful voice that many will appreciate.
I think your idea for an adoption blog is great. I come from the "other" side as I manage an adoption program. As a professional, and as someone touched by adoption issues personally, I don't like our system of sealed records. Federal legislation in 2008 has begun to open the door a little for those children adopted through the foster care system…well, I'll stop there, this is a subject I could discuss endlessly. Thanks for your courage!
Linda, I think that's a great idea. Sounds like it'd fill a need, and one can't go wrong with that. I think you're the right person to do it!
I did vote. Three of my husband's siblings (there are seven total) are adopted. The three are bio brothers themselves, and my in-laws adopted them together. Still, there were three others in that family who were ineligible for adoption at the time, but the family's in touch with all of them. It's a big family! There are lots of mixed emotions here and there.
An adoption blog would be interesting. As an adoptive mother of three — and my best friends and one of my family members all adopted children — I don't know of anyone who has had a completely closed adoption. It's interesting, now that my children are all in adolescence, how they each have very different feelings about their adoption stories.
My sister was adopted; I could give you an entirely different take on the matter. It's been a rough road for us.