I see a lot of nonsense and have to remind myself there’s always been nonsense. (You understand, I trust, that “nonsense” is a code word for all manner of stuff that paints us with an unattractive brush.)
Be calm, be kind, be safe. British Columbia’s provincial health officer tells us during one of her daily updates. And we try. Most of us do our level best and try. But there are those—there have always been those—who chose another path. It shouldn’t surprise us.
And sometimes—just being honest here—I’m tempted to growl back. To bite. Sometimes the best you can do is to make someone else feel bad. I saw those words on a cartoon decades ago and they were funny at the time, in the context. Now they’re too close to the surface to carry humour.
It comes from fear, this lashing out at one another. We don’t understand what in the world is happening, or who to believe, and we just want this whole thing to go away so we can get back to living our best pre-COVID lives.
What kind of person do you want to be? I ask myself. Who are you serving? Which wolf are you feeding? What does your best life look like anyway?
I sit here in the dark and the quiet and think about these things and set an intention about where to put my attention on this day that feels like the gazillionth one since we went into lockdown. I think about the opportunity to come out of this thing different. And those waxy tulips in the middle of my dining table, yeah, I think about them too.
And robins hunting for worms on the back lawn. And a brilliant morning sky that invites spontaneous worship. And the feel of warmth from the sun on my arms. The Presence walking alongside through this. And breath prayer. Selah.
These days when I feel like lashing out, I turn off the TV news, or (at home), walk to another room. No energy for drama these days. Life is too short, and my energy too little.