Broken

Empty-1-2 (600x429)

One day, not so very long ago I felt broken, utterly and completely spent. Bereft.

The burden of holding myself more-or-less together throughout the day became more than I could carry; I thought I might find solace in the peace of a hot bath. I turned on the taps and threw in a handful of bath salts and, as the tub filled, gathered my supplies: a glass of ice water, my phone that was loaded up with music I find soothing, and my earphones.

I climbed into the tub, put my ear buds in, and tuned my music app to a favourite Canadian Tenors album. Then I settled back, closed my eyes, and let the tears fall.

At first, it was the soothing melody that entered my being and brought a measure of rest. Soon I became conscious of the words of a song called Always There.

When I’m less than I should be
When I just can’t face the day
When darkness falls around me
And I just can’t find my way
When my eyes don’t clearly see
And I stumble through it all
You I lean upon, you keep me strong
You raise me when I fall
You are always there for me

As I listened my grief continued to fall from my eyes in the form of tears.

You are there when I most need you
You are there so constantly
You come shining through
You always do
You are always there for me

I listened, I thought about the circumstance that had brought me to this place of brokenness, and I wept. At some point I realized that the same song was repeating and I picked up my phone and switched the playlist to shuffle instead of repeat–the way I usually had it. Another song played and then, Always There repeated.

When life brings me to my knees
When my back’s against the wall
You are standing there right with me
Just to keep me standing tall
Though a burden I may be
You don’t worry; you don’t rest
You are reaching out to carry me
And I know I’m heaven blessed

I was reminded of something I heard recently–that God speaks to each of us in a unique way–and I understood He was speaking to me in that moment through the words of the song. I allowed myself to rest and trust. I allowed myself to receive the love that I knew was being sent my way.

Some may call it coincidence that my playlist was set to repeat the song I needed to hear at that moment. Others may believe that, once I set my playlist to shuffle the fact that the same song was replayed, was a fluke.

The thing is, I don’t believe in coincidence or flukes. What I do believe is that God was using words to speak to me–I am, after all, a word person. God used the words of a song to remind me I am never alone, that I am cared for and loved, despite my brokenness. Broken, yet blessed. I’ll take it.

Thanks so much for stopping by. I'm here early most mornings with one of my photos and a few words about life and those thin places where faith intersects.
12 comments
  1. I don’t know what to say, except that I am glad you took care of yourself, mothered yourself so to speak, and were able to find peace. I hope you are having a better day.

    1. We all have days when we feel broken, don’t we? I know you’ve had a few too, Christine. And thank you, today is a better day.

  2. I absolutely believe God was speaking to you, giving you exactly what you needed in that moment. I hope you are past whatever caused this feeling of brokenness

    1. Thank you, Karen.

  3. A warm bath and good music–heavenly things that might be conducive to hearing God’s message. I haven’t taken a bath in many years–and lest that sound yucky, I take showers which is what most modern people do. Sometimes a good old relaxing bath is just what we need to fire up the imagination.

    Arlee Bird
    Wrote By Rote

    1. Ah, Arlee, thank you so much for making me smile this morning! I’m so glad to hear that, despite the fact that you haven’t bathed in years, showering is a regular event. 🙂

  4. I loved your post! Thanks so much for sharing. I just read a post yesterday about being open to the miracles around us which are not coincidences. Perhaps reading your post and hers was my own serendipitous message of miracles. I think so.

    Also, I’m very curious about the singers and titles of the songs you mentioned. Would you share them?

  5. No coincidences for sure, Kas. I love that these simple words may be part of a message that is meant for you right now.

    The group is called The Tenors (they used to be The Canadian Tenors) Here is a link to their website: http://www.tenorsmusic.com/. The song is called Always There. I found a link to a YouTube video of them performing the song. The sound doesn’t due them justice but it will give you an idea anyway.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEW2D_QE2L8

    1. Thank you again, Linda. I just viewed and listened to the Canadian Tenors on YouTube. I found their singing to be very consoling, especially today after the Paris bombings.
      I hope your heavy heart has lifted. You have helped to lift mine.

      1. I’m glad your heart was lifted, Kas. Music, and the words that accompany then, can be a healing balm. And so much comforting is needed today, as you mention.

  6. I don’t for one minute believe that that was a coincidence. I believe it was Divine Intervention

    1. I believe it was too, Carolyn.

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