I hear her calling to me.
“Tell my story,” she whispers.
I ignore her prompting as she once ignored me.
“It’s time,” she insists. “In telling my story you will come to understand.”
Stubbornly, I turn away. I am not sure that I want to understand; there is comfort in the anger that I feel toward her.
“If I tell your story it won’t be because you ask me to,” I tell her. “If I tell your story it will be because I want to move on; it will be because I want to release the burden that you are to me.”
Some part of me knows that in telling her story I will find healing, yet I continue to resist, unwilling to risk the release of my resentment toward her, and almost afraid of what might take its place.
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Ooh. I have a similar story. I had it all outlined and plotted out. Yet when it came down to writing it, I couldn’t. I just wasn’t ready. I’m still not ready. Can’t wait until I am, though. I love the story.
This has all the earmarks of a healing in the making! Whatever the story, I KNOW the other side of it will be amazing, and free.
Be blessed,
Kathleen
((Hugs)) Linda, just take your time–it will all come together when YOU are ready.
PS. I got an ipod shuffle, the tiny-tiny one for my anniversary! Can’t wait to figure it all out!
Writing those stories are HARD! I have one that is waiting to be written and I am not ready to enter into that pain at this point, but I know that it will not be so bad when I DO write the story and get it off my chest. Then, why do I wait? Don’t exactly know, but when the time comes I know it will be healing.
Your last line was profound … to be afraid of what would take resentments place. Action negates fear. I suspect that your fear is probably worse than the outcome. I also suspect that writing this post is your first step to taking action.
Small Footprints
http://reducefootprints.blogspot.com
Love your new look!
Melissa – when the time is right, you’ll know.
Sassy Granny – the healing has begun!
Kim – Thank you Kim. The process has started! Enjoy your ipod! I highly recommend loading it up with some podcasts about writing.
Pat – sounds like you understand just where I’m coming from
Small Footprints – the fear of the unknown is usually worse than the truth.
Terri – thanks!
You’ve got my attention! Your writing is compelling.