Calling

I hear her calling to me.

“Tell my story,” she whispers.

I ignore her prompting as she once ignored me.

“It’s time,” she insists. “In telling my story you will come to understand.”

Stubbornly, I turn away. I am not sure that I want to understand; there is comfort in the anger that I feel toward her.

“If I tell your story it won’t be because you ask me to,” I tell her. “If I tell your story it will be because I want to move on; it will be because I want to release the burden that you are to me.”

Some part of me knows that in telling her story I will find healing, yet I continue to resist, unwilling to risk the release of my resentment toward her, and almost afraid of what might take its place.

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I’m a writer, reader, photographer, and gardener. I thought by now I’d have things figured out, but I keep coming up with more questions. I think that’s okay. I’m here most mornings pondering ordinary things.
8 comments
  1. Ooh. I have a similar story. I had it all outlined and plotted out. Yet when it came down to writing it, I couldn’t. I just wasn’t ready. I’m still not ready. Can’t wait until I am, though. I love the story.

  2. This has all the earmarks of a healing in the making! Whatever the story, I KNOW the other side of it will be amazing, and free.

    Be blessed,
    Kathleen

  3. ((Hugs)) Linda, just take your time–it will all come together when YOU are ready.

    PS. I got an ipod shuffle, the tiny-tiny one for my anniversary! Can’t wait to figure it all out!

  4. Writing those stories are HARD! I have one that is waiting to be written and I am not ready to enter into that pain at this point, but I know that it will not be so bad when I DO write the story and get it off my chest. Then, why do I wait? Don’t exactly know, but when the time comes I know it will be healing.

  5. Your last line was profound … to be afraid of what would take resentments place. Action negates fear. I suspect that your fear is probably worse than the outcome. I also suspect that writing this post is your first step to taking action.

    Small Footprints
    http://reducefootprints.blogspot.com

  6. Love your new look!

  7. Melissa – when the time is right, you’ll know.

    Sassy Granny – the healing has begun!

    Kim – Thank you Kim. The process has started! Enjoy your ipod! I highly recommend loading it up with some podcasts about writing.

    Pat – sounds like you understand just where I’m coming from

    Small Footprints – the fear of the unknown is usually worse than the truth.

    Terri – thanks!

  8. You’ve got my attention! Your writing is compelling.

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