“I observe, I write, I try not to remember the life that I didn’t want to lose but lost and have to remember.”
~ Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
The other day I chatted briefly with on of the residents at the care home where my mother-in-love now resides. She told me how much she missed her parents-in-love, her own parents, and her daughter who died a few years ago. I got it.
I miss so many too; I miss the sense of belonging and the connection. I sometimes think about what life might have been like had my family remained in Saskatchewan. I sometimes wonder what kind of person I might have become if I had the blessing of an extended family around me throughout my life.
Feeling more nostalgic than usual right now with Mother’s Day around the corner I suppose. I’m thinking of both of my mothers and fathers, all of my siblings, my aunts and uncles, and others I wish I could share an afternoon visit with. I think heaven will be a place where that sense of belonging I had so briefly will return in spades; and this time it will last forever.
Yesterday I tweaked a piece I wrote a few years ago about searching for the grave of the woman who gave me life (https://lindahoye.com/searching-still-searching/) I wrote it in 2012 right after the experience; it still smarts when I read it and remember.
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Today, cleaning house, a bit of shopping, and coffee with friends.