I spent the afternoon in the kitchen canning and freezing tomatoes, and while I worked I had the Pandora radio playing on the TV. Gerry puttered around the house, washing cars, and doing some things in the yard. It was a pleasant, relaxing, and fulfilling afternoon. The kind of afternoon I once longed for.
I gave up listening to country music years ago but my Mary Chapin Carpenter channel on Pandora seems to be home to a plethora of talented women singers who are classified as country singers. As I worked and songs came on that I liked I’d glance over at the screen to see who was singing and I was delighted to see the names of old favorites like Bonnie Rait, Wynonna, Trisha Yearwood, and Martina McBride.
Martina McBride released back in the 1990’s called Independence Day. That song, and the video that went with it, was controversial in some circles but it was like an anthem to me.
If you’ve read Two Hearts you know that I was once an abused wife who had no self-esteem, little sense of self-worth, and didn’t believe I had power over anything that happened in my life.
Sometimes simple things like a song can work their way into a woman’s consciousness and work together to help her understand there is another way to live. A way that doesn’t include abuse.
My life today couldn’t be more different from what it was when I watched this video and felt a glimmer of hope that I could change my life. By the grace of God, and with the assistance of people who helped me believe in myself, I was able to get out.
The song I heard Martina sing today was called “Be That Way” and the lyrics got under my skin today too. They reminded me about how, in a strong relationship, expressing anger in a healthy non-violent way is okay, even necessary at times. It took me a long time to realize that.
Here’s, for old time’s sake, is the video I watched so many years ago. If you’re in a toxic relationship get out. There is an abundant life out there waiting.