Swan Song

Yesterday I started working on a post about the possibility of having to let go of a pet project of mine at work so I can take on another very large piece of work. I wrote about my angst at the thought of giving up a something I have devoted much of my time and effort to for a number of years before I was ready to. Today, after a good night’s sleep and a long introduction to this new project, it now seems impossible to me that I could hold on to both

This new one is projected to last 2+ years and, Lord willing, I am planning on retiring in 3 years. The phrase ‘swan song’ kept coming to mind this afternoon and I googled the phrase when I got home. According to WordNet Search a swan song is a “last hurrah, a final performance or effort (especially before retirement) “.  So, in a way, this new project is a sort of swan song for me.

Yesterday, in the post that I didn’t publish, I said that my feelings about letting go of the pet project were akin to having a child leave home before one is ready. I knew I would have to let it go but I was planning on a gradual release over the next few years. I also wrote that when one gets past the emotional impact of having a child leave home, one begins to embrace the possibility of more time to devote to a passion or something put aside during the child-rearing years. It becomes a time of new beginnings.

I don’t believe in coincidence; I believe everything happens for a reason. Therefore there must be a reason for this swan song project coming my way. I didn’t seek it out, I didn’t even particularly want it, but I trust that the fact that I have it means there is something I am meant to learn from the experience. Perhaps it is what I need to help me grow into the woman I need to be post-retirement when I have time to pursue my passion without the time constraints I find myself dealing with now.

The idea of starting out on this project (“career defining” as someone put it – yikes!) scares me, challenges me, and excites me at the same time. I can’t help but think about what I have ahead of me that is meant to teach me new things that I will take with me into my next phase of life. My challenge, as always, is to manage my stress and maintain focus on my priorities.    

I don’t think of a swan song so much as an ending, it seems more of an opening up to a new world of possibilities. Have you sung a swan song of your own in any areas of your life? If not, what do you envision your swan song will be?

Thanks so much for stopping by. I'm here most mornings with a photo and a few words about ordinary extraordinary things and, sometimes, thin places where faith intersects.

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