It’s almost 2pm as I write this and it’s dark. Next week at this time it will be darker because this weekend we turn our clocks back an hour. I wish we’d stop trying to mess with time but, for now at least, we persist. The end of Daylight Saving Time starts our descent into the darkest days of the year and, for some of us, the beginning of a struggle to maintain our mental health. Some years it’s more of an effort than others.
So, what to write about in this space today? I thought, first, I’d share something I watched this morning that hurt my heart and filled me with longing for something other than this. I’ve been taking a class through Renovaré with Richard Hovey and today was the last session. He shared a video presentation of Wendell Berry’s poem, The Objective. Have a look here. How does it touch you? Or does it? I can’t get it out of my mind and my heart.
Aside from this, I thought I’d do a string of thoughts about these days and see where it takes us. Here we go.
These days . . . it’s wet and gray and dark and I’m holding my breath for the first snowfall.
These days . . . I drink Yerba maté tea all morning and enjoy one mug of soy milky frothy coffee in the afternoon. The coffee is losing its charm. I hate to admit it, but it’s true.
These days . . . there’s a backpack on our bannister. I retrieve an empty lunch container from it in the afternoon and wipe it out and in the morning I put it, open, on the kitchen counter to be filled for Makiya’s lunch.
These days . . . I am toying with the idea of pulling out my watercolours.
These days . . . I am allowing myself to get lost in books. The most recent, The Art of Losing It: A Memoir of Grief and Addiction by Canadian author and fellow Story Circle Network member, Rosemary Keevil.
These days . . . I’ve already read eight books more than I challenged myself to in 2021 in the Goodreads challenge. Mostly fiction, seasoned with a smattering of memoir. I’ve got a sample of this Kirsten Powers’ Saving Grace: Speak Your Truth, Stay Centered, and Learn to Coexist with People Who Drive You Nuts on my Kindle. It landed on my radar when I was reading Scot McKnight’s newsletter the other day. He ended with a smattering of quotes from the book like this one: “Grace is giving other people space to not be you.” And this: “We all need to be focused on how we can pour more grace into the world, not how we can wring it out of other people.” I believe I need to read this book.
These days . . . I’m tired of all things COVID. I bet you are too.
These days . . . I watch very little news and I’m mentally stronger for it.
These days . . . I blog in the afternoon more often than in the morning.
These days . . . I’m thinking I might put up the non-traditional trees after we turn the clocks back.
These days . . . I put four piles of vitamin pills on the kitchen counter first thing in the morning to help keep my loved ones healthy.
Okay, that’s it. That’s enough. I was going to say “just for today” and I was reminded of a card I used to have on my office wall with a meditation I learned when I was attending Al-Anon. Are you familiar with it? There’s wisdom in the words and living them out.
Just for Today I will try to live through this day only, not tackling my whole life problems at once. I can do something at this moment that would bother me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for Today I will try to be happy realizing that my happiness does not depend on what others do or say, or what happens around me. Happiness is a result of being at peace with myself.
Just for Today I will try to adjust myself to what is and not force everything to adjust to my own desires. I will accept my family, friends, my business, my circumstances as they come.
Just for Today I will take care of my physical, intellectual, and spiritual health.
Just for Today I will do an act of service for someone else without being found out. If anyone finds out about it, it will not count. I will do at least one thing I do not want to do, and I will perform an act of love for my neighbor.
Just for Today I will try to go out of my way to be kind to someone I meet; I will be friendly and act appropriately, I will dress becomingly, talk low, be courteous and not critical, I will not try to control situations or other people.
Just for Today I will have a program. I may not follow it perfectly, but I will have it.
Just for Today I will stop saying, “if I had time.” I will never “find time” for anything. I will have to take time.
Just for Today I will make time to meditate and seek serenity, truth, and acceptance of myself and others.
Just for Today I shall be unafraid. Particularly, I shall be unafraid to be happy, to enjoy what is beautiful, and what is lovely in life.
Just for Today I will accept myself and live to the best of my ability.
Just for Today I choose to believe that I can live this one day.
Okay, I’m finished for real this time. Have a good day. Just for today. 🙂