Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.
Augustine of Hippo, Confessions
I long for ordinary time: predictability and routine. Even as I write these words I see the absurdity of them, because even in ordinary time sands are shifting—sands are always shifting. Still I want it.
I foolishly tell myself I need this or I need that to feel at peace. I head to my private journal and tap out some thoughts and, through the wrangling of words, comes the truth.
I simply need to remember.
Return to your rest, O my soul, For the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.
Psalm 116:7 NKJV
So, I speak to my restless self.
In times of angst, remember bounty.
When sands shift beneath your feet, remember bounty.
When days don’t play out as you wish they would, open your eyes and see bounty.
When you long for a season that’s passed, remember God’s abundant bounty and open your eyes to the gifts of every season.
And so this day, the first of a new month, with spring half done and it finally feeling that way, I consider abundance and unmerited favour and, with intention, embrace sands shifting, anchor myself firmly to the Rock, and return my soul to rest.
And it is well.
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Sun in my eyes.
Lilies coming up.
Hardening off tomatoes and peppers in preparation for planting.
News of a baby coming later this year.
Pushing cucumber seeds into pots.