“Without darkness, nothing comes to birth,
As without light, nothing flowers.”
~ May Sarton
I feel a sharpness in my chest as I realize it’s Wednesday: mid-week and nearly mid-month. I think of all the things I want to do, must do, don’t want to do but will do nonetheless. It surprises me that, at this stage of my life, I still feel an urgency to get things done and carry the concern that I will run out of time to do it all.
I make lists and the act of crossing things off makes me feel a little bit more in control. Times and seasons change, my attention shifts, and different things come into focus.
We visited the long-term care home where my mother-in-love lives yesterday. The residents there don’t feel the burden of having to get things done because their lives have become smaller.
I consider this for a moment . . . then lean in to my, often self-imposed, busyness. I’ll take it and squeeze as much out of it as I can for as long as I’m able.
I don’t twiddle my thumbs either. Various lists for house/blog/business lie on countertops and desktops.
I have visited my aunt in PA monthly since February. She doesn’t remember where she is or what day it is. However, before a meal is served when we eat together, she comments that she wants to make a meal for us. Impossible because she is wheelchair bound – bittersweet.
It is, indeed, bittersweet. I have gleaned such richness and wisdom from our weekly visits to the care home. All of the residents have unique personalities and, whether they’re aware or not, are still contributing to the collective good in this world.
A lovely photo – such a lightness and an ethereal effect. There is a bit of me envying you your busyness and squeezing things in: caring for my 93 year old father with vascular dementia here at home, life can feel slower, very much stop-start-stop-again as his need for attention and soothing increases and our time spaces decrease. But I’m learning to switch attention fast and put down/pick up again …
I think the busyness helps to keep us “young.” Without work (of some sort), and fun stuff (like gardening and photography) what else is there? I enjoy the busyness as much as the down time.