Winter Melancholy

I was back at work today after having enjoyed a few days in Calgary celebrating an early Christmas with the grands. I delight in spending time with those children–watching them change and grow as their distinct personalities, complete with likes and dislikes emerge. They are the joys of my life.

It’s always hard to get back into work mode after being on vacation but today seemed especially difficult.

Maybe it’s because my granddaughter’s words “Don’t go, Grandma” still echo in my mind. Perhaps it’s because I returned to living in the dark as I always do at this time of year; I’m growing weary of going to work in the dark and coming home in the dark. Or it could be that unplugging completely while on vacation means returning to an over-abundance of things needing my attention and I was behind before I even got to my office this morning.

The recent tragic events in Newtown, CT still weigh on my mind, too. I can’t help but think of those families who are mourning the loss of their children and how it must be especially hard at this time of year. I’m angry at much of what what I’m seeing in the media surrounding this event.

It could be any of these things. It could be none of these things.

Yet despite my melancholy today I look back over the past year and know have much to be thankful for: the birth of a new granddaughter, good health for me and my family, the completion and publication of my memoir, just to name just a few things.

I look ahead and know the winter solstice this Friday means that the darkest days will be behind us. After tomorrow, I’ll have five days away from work during which time Gerry and I will celebrate a quiet Christmas at home and I’ll have time for those things that nourish my soul. In a few weeks we’ll be heading to vacation in Playa Del Carmen–surely warm and sunny days will do much to boost my mood.

Today was a melancholy day, a busy and tiring day, but as I come to the end of it and choose to consider my blessings I know my downcast mood is temporary. All I have to do is look at the pictures we took over the past few days to remind myself of how good this life truly is.

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I’m a writer, reader, and creative. I thought by now I’d have things figured out, but I keep coming up with more questions. I think that’s okay. I’m here most mornings pondering ordinary things and the thin places where faith intersects.
1 comment
  1. Ah, the melancholy days of winter in the PNW! However, there are a few other things causing your melancholy — leaving such lovely grandchildren behind while they beg you to stay is reason enough. Wishing you and Gerry a quiet holiday together doing just whatever you want to do.


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